Posts tagged ‘acceptance’
The first month flew by at Mythbuster Beauty. I’ve been so excited and busy creating this “little monster” blog, and now it is October. I am learning so much and meeting such wonderful new people. Thank you all for reading my posts and making comments. I hope this site can enrich and inspire your lives.
For the first few weeks, the visits from you were in the single digits, and those were mainly from my Mom. I love you Momma! Now I am getting a steady flow of visitors, and although only a few comment, I know you are reading. I get hits from all over the US, and even some from Mexico, Canada, Sweden, South Africa, Turkey, Venezuela, Australia, Thailand, and the Philippines!
To make this site a little more orderly, I have created a schedule to help me structure the posts according to topics. This is so you can look forward to your favorite beauty subjects and help me plan accordingly. This new schedule will start on Monday, October 8th.
Monday: “Manure Mondays”
- The latest “CRAP” that the Beauty Media has been shoveling to us
Tuesday: “How-To Tuesdays” & “Kitchen Cupboard Beauty”
- Tips and Advice on how to make the most of your cosmetics
- Beauty Products made from everyday items in your home
Wednesday: “What do I do with my Hair ?”
- Solutions and strategies on how to work with, not fight against our hair
Thursday: “Terrific Skincare”
- Great skin needs less makeup, and what makeup you do use will look even better!
Friday: “Weekend Wrap Up”
- News headline, trend, or some other subject that tickles my fancy
Saturday and Sunday: Misc.
- Answering questions and comments, but other than that, I am taking the weekend off to play with my family!
I always love to hear your thoughts on topics, questions you might have, or to share your own experiences. Here’s to another month!
Best to all of you, XO Jen
First, let me set the scene:
Last Sunday, my family and I attended a local church. To be completely honest with you, I really dread dragging my five children to church. Sunday is never a “Day of Rest” for me. Being a mother of five girls, we have quite a bit of drama most mornings, and Sunday’s stress is compounded by the fact that I have to get ready as well.
We usually arrive at our chapel either seconds before or minutes after it starts. Once we arrive, the girls and I find a spot in the back rows and then the games begin! Naomi, who is four, starts clamoring for something to draw with. Becca, the baby, crawls over everyone. It’s anything but a time of peace and worship for me. I usually leave with a splitting headache.
This morning we were 15 minutes early. My girls and I were all in fairly decent moods and we had our pick of where to sit. The early arrival time gave me a moment to sit and contemplate higher, more spiritual things. The peace was too brief, and was interrupted by the sight of the most alarmingly orange looking foundation on a dear sweet woman’s face who took her seat in front of us!
What is it that makes women think this kind of makeup is better than nothing at all? Did she have any idea how strange the shade of her face really appeared? Do I commit similar fashion crimes that make people look at me and think “Look at that poor woman! She thinks that ___ makes her look better!”
Why do we keep putting more and more crap on our faces in hopes of covering up or being more beautiful, to the detriment of our skin and anything what looks remotely natural on us?
The more I learn, the more I believe that less is better when it comes to cosmetics. Less of it in quantity and less matte in it’s appearance. Especially for us women 35+. I realize we all want to look beautiful and young again. We must be lying to ourselves and refuse to see ourselves honestly in the mirror. What possesses us to spread a thick orange paste foundation or a overly dense coat of loose mineral makeup? Honestly, this dear woman would have looked 100% better if she would have worn NOTHING on her face that morning to church.
It is truly horrifying.
In the quest for the most natural, best feeling, best coverage (if needed), I beg you, all of you, try the following advice:
1. Go to the cosmetics counter and work with someone trained to match cosmetics to your exact skin tone. This is not foolproof, but should increase your chances at getting the right shade. If you burn in the sun and turn pink you are probably a “cool” tone, and need a foundation with the words “porcelain” or “ivory.” If you freckle, tan or don’t change color with sun exposure, you need yellow based “warm” shades, usually named “golden” or “honey.”
2. If you do buy the wrong shade, and you will know if you do by the “broad daylight car mirror” test, either return it or toss it. Fast!
3. Opt for a less matte finish. Dewy complexions with some shine are much more becoming, natural and youthful on most faces. Matte foundations cake and give a fake powdered and dry looking face and has no natural resemblance to human skin. There are wonderful oil-free foundations that provide buildable coverage and don’t cause breakouts like: Tarte’s Smooth Operator, Model Co 3 in 1, and The Balm’s Tinted Moisturizer.
4. Give your skin a chance to breathe! Be kind to it, use smart skincare and sunscreen and lay off on the extreme makeup. When your skin is healthy, you don’t need much makeup, and in my opinion, less is more beautiful anyway.
5. To combat the oilies, there are several great products that can help reduce excess oil/sebum production and won’t make the problem worse (like harsh cleansers and alcohol based toners) that over-strip your skin. To avoid caking, try using blotting papers, not more powder for mid day touch ups. A very light dusting of translucent powder is fine to set your makeup, but too much powder will make you look like a corpse!
6. Find a friend who will be honest with you. Get real, honest feedback on what looks good on you.
Break away from your current ways and re-examine your beauty routine. Every single one of us has different skin issues, so spend some time to figure out what you need. I am very sad seeing a woman wasting their money and energy on beauty products and abusing them. My fellow church sister desired a much different result from her makeup, and yet, she failed miserably. There are some much deeper and darker issues lurking with this subject, and it warrants some future discussion.
We need to share our knowledge so that we do not fall victim to what cosmetic marketers throw our way. We need to esteem ourselves for who we are, the age we are, and that although we want to look our best, we are way more than just a pretty face.
Love and accept yourself. You are beautiful!
How about a little show and tell story? This is a story about my hair, and it is a bit of a sob story. Here is my picture at the age of 2 in 1971 with my older sister, Monique, and younger brother, Eddie. Can you guess which one I am?
My sister has always had stunningly gorgeous, very dark brunette hair. She could wear it short, or easily grow it very long. She had just the perfect balance of waves and thickness.
In the early 80’s when the style was “preppy,” she could wear perfect wispy bangs and draw the rest back with a stylish pink and green ribbon headband. On lazy mornings, she could sweep it all up in a ponytail, simple and elegant.
When hair styles went bigger and wavier in the mid 80’s, she got a body wave perm. Monique could then style it any way she pleased: full and wavy, or blow dryer straight with curled ends. Yes, I thought my sister had the perfect hair, and I was always green with envy.
I was born with very little hair, and the little hair I had the nurses immediately shaved off. After my delivery, I had some breathing issues and severe jaundice that led to having an IV being placed in my scalp. After a few months, my true hair started coming in. My hair had the appearance of yellowish downy feathers like what you see on a baby duck.
As I got older, and my hair grew, my mother tried several things and consulted with many women at the local beauty shops. At the age of 2, she gave me my first home perm in hopes of giving it some curl and control. I can remember at times standing next to my Mom in the checkout line at the grocery store, or at church, and someone would ask her, “What happened to your daughter’s hair? Bad perm or something?” It always amazed me how people would make these comments and think I didn’t understood what was being said, or that I wouldn’t feel badly about their statements.
I have many memories of my Mom trying to brush my hair out in the morning before school. My scalp just grew accustomed to the pain. It was no use complaining. I just had to accept it. I usually would avoid looking at myself in the mirror as well. In the morning, my Mom would slick it down with Vaseline and water and pull it tightly into a pigtail. By the end of the day, it would be bursting out of the pigtail all over the place. One big frizz ball.
When hearing the story of the Ugly Duckling, I truly believed that I was that duckling.
While growing up, I learned little by little how to try different techniques and products to make my hair look better. Luckily, by high school, I could actually make my hair presentable. It would take a lot of time and work. I usually would wake up at 5:30 am to have enough time to wash, blow dry, set curlers, and style my hair. And usually, if I went out again after school, I would need to re-wash and re-style my hair. .Seriously, the amount of time and energy I have spent on my hair is staggering to think about! And the end product still left me self-conscious and embarrassed.
That is until March of this year, when something inside me couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t torture, blow dry and fight against the hair God gave me one more day.
I believe it was nothing short of divine intervention that sent me to NaturallyCurly.com and Lorraine Massey’s book, “Curly Girl.” Without a doubt, these two sources of information have changed my life and given me a new found love and appreciation for my hair.
I only wish I had learned to be comfortable and confident with my hair before now. All those years of despair, feeling like an outcast and believing I had a flaw that made me different from other children. All that time thinking I was an ugly duckling waiting to become a swan when in fact I was an adorable little chick!
That is also what inspired me to create my blog and share these experiences. Writing out those memories still gets to me. I sincerely hope that we can empower each other by sharing our knowledge and building each other up. I want to get the word out so that the “little Jenny’s” out there can benefit from my experience and learn to accept themselves for the beautiful people they are! Embrace yourself and your hair, no matter what!