Beauty Truth = Modern Jackass

July 24, 2008 at 10:02 pm 12 comments

Modern Jackass?   According to Nancy Updike, a contributing editor for the NPR radio program “This American Life,” to be a Modern Jackass is to “talk expertly about something we don’t actually know anything about.”  Modern Jackass is the term they created to describe an imaginary magazine devoted to such blathering.

Have you noticed this epidemic?  I certainly have.  We gather bits of information from magazines, the Internet, infomercials and blogs, and suddenly we believe we are an authority on the subject.  There is so much information to sort through, and how do we ever come to some form of truth or authority on any given subject?  and particularly relevant to this site, the subject of beauty.

I find the amount of contradictions in the beauty world staggering.  I read and try to compile and process a monumental amount of ever changing, new and improved material.    And at the end of the day, I could possibly be the beauty editor for the next edition of “Modern Jackass.”  While brainstorming, here are some of my first ideas for columns.

  • Should you use a skin toner? Is it necessary, or just an extra superfluous step? (The word superfluous is itself superfluous!)
  • Is it okay to use your fingers to apply cosmetics?
  • Bad versus good silicones, or no silicones at all?
  • Antioxidants: they are good for you when eaten but are they good to put them on your face?
  • How does a great big peptide molecule get absorbed into my itty-bitty skin cells?
  • Should I use tap water on my skin, or no water, or only purified non-chlorinated water?
  • Does Botox get absorbed into our bodies and even scarier, our brainstem?
  • Why did Courtney Love mess with her perfect lips?
  • Which Foundation?  Liquid, cream, power, matte, semi-matte, dewy, loose mineral, liquid mineral, liquid to powder, powder to liquid, tinted moisturizer, mousse, spray on, oil-based, oil-free, what did I miss?
  • Skincare creams:  In what order do you apply them?

If you have any real scientific information to answer any of these questions, feel free to comment.  Yes, I will even welcome any Modern Jackass speculation.  Don’t get defensive, just be honest, we are all doing the best we can with our experience, research, personal preferences and our hope to appear 21 again.  I would settle for 31.

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40% at tarte, 4 days only! The Other Purples: Urban Decay, Make Up Forever, Laura Mercier, Pencil Me In

12 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Marilyn  |  July 25, 2008 at 8:13 am

    I would settle for 51.

    Reply
  • 2. t.t.  |  July 25, 2008 at 10:29 am

    HeyJen! Your blog is really looking great! This is chichi (formerly of Green Chi Tuesdays). I spent some time yesterday reading over your posts and comments and really enjoyed it. I especially love this post as I am guilty of being a bit of a know it all sometimes – I could be editore in chief of Modern Jackass magazine (or at least a featured writer). Let’s see, I can answer two questions very easily: 1) Is it okay to use your fingers to apply cosmetics? Yes, I think you get the best control/results using (clean) fingers. 2) Why did Courtney Love mess with her perfect lips? Umm, because she is crazy and unstable?!

    Reply
  • 3. Jen Hill  |  July 25, 2008 at 11:05 am

    t.t. you are too awesome! Speaking as one jackass to another, your answers are spot on! Using your fingers to apply makeup was listed as one of “The Worst Beauty Blunders,” in an article I read recently. Sloppy makeup application is usually because of haste or bad eyesight, not because of putting on makeup with your fingers. Clean brushes probably have as much bacteria as any clean finger, but remember I am just jackassing here. 😉

    I miss reading your Green Chi posts. Come again soon!

    Reply
  • 4. s'mee  |  July 25, 2008 at 11:02 pm

    Skin toner is great; it the eensy weensie bar bells that will kill you.

    Skin Cream… In the ‘Imperial Matrons’ Order of the Lovely ‘Dermis’ / or I.’M.-O.L.D. (we meet the third Thursday of each month, 2:30, in the banquet room down at the IHOP)

    and Courtney? She’s just trying to fill that void left by dead/dying/ or missing brain cells. Unfortunately years of substance abuse have also rendered her digitally challenged and she just injected her lips instead of her brain by mistake. Shush! No one was supposed have noticed!

    Reply
  • 5. Jen Hill  |  July 26, 2008 at 9:06 am

    Great to hear from you s’mee! I will definitely join you for next Thursday’s I.’M-O.L.D. meeting!

    Thanks for jackassing with us 😉

    Reply
  • 6. kate2004rock  |  July 26, 2008 at 10:37 am

    Oh, Jen. I think you worry too much. At least you do the reading and the research and then make your OWN edcuated decision. The Modern Jackass is someone who is unedcuated and unread blathering on. And that is CERTAINLY not you!

    1) I like toners. I’ve recently gotten into them. The extra step of exfoliation had done wonders…I look brighter and glowier and its great since you can’t use a “gritty” exfoliant every day.

    2) Fingers are GOOD. Just wash your hands with a good soap. It helps products really melt into your skin so they look flawless. Let’s face it, washing brushes out can be a pain in the butt.

    Reply
  • 7. kate2004rock  |  July 26, 2008 at 10:39 am

    3) Apply products in this order: Cleanse, Tone, Treat, Hydrate, Protect. Any steps that are next to each other can easily be combined! Cleanse/tone; treat/hydrate, hydrate/protect. etc.

    4) Use the foundation that feels the best on your skin and gives you the “natural” or “unnatural” (if thats your preference)

    Reply
  • 8. Jen Hill  |  July 26, 2008 at 12:05 pm

    Thank you Kate, I am just having fun with this!

    I like toners too. What are your favorites? I am currently using Lush’s Tea Tree Toner and really like it. Kate you are no jackass either!

    Reply
  • 9. kate2004rock  |  July 27, 2008 at 5:15 pm

    Clinique’s Acne Soultion Clarifying Lotion and Bliss Daily Detoxifying Toner. It’s amazing (and a little nasty) all the makeup your cleanser DOESN’T take off.

    Reply
  • 10. Decorative Diva  |  July 28, 2008 at 4:04 pm

    I cleanse/treat, and moisturize/sunscreen.

    I just started using Lush’s Angels on Bare Skin to treat blemishes and even on my skin tone and cleanse. This stuff is a holy grail for me. Muse turned me on to it only a few weeks ago and it’s worked amazingly well.

    I use it in the mornings to cleanse/treat my skin, and then after that I put on Oil of Olay’s Complete UVA/UVB for sensitive skin moisturizer to hydrate and protect my skin.

    The rest of my skin gets a body butter and then Neutragena’s spray on sunblock.

    Reply
  • 11. Jen Hill  |  July 28, 2008 at 9:16 pm

    Thanks Kate and DD. I am SO going to try the Lush Angel on Bare Skin sometime soon! My skin decided to go wacko on me this week. I blame my hormones and having all the kids home.

    If you haven’t, check out Decorative Diva’s blog, she has some incredible eye art and beauty reviews. I am adding her site to my Beauty Guru list asap.

    Reply
  • […] but maybe I am using a cleanser that is too harsh for my skintype?   In last weeks post, “Beauty Truth = Modern Jackass,” my friend Kate (who is a true beauty guru) swears by toners.  […]

    Reply

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